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Bulimia: Wasting Away by Laila12345
Mature content
Bulimia: Wasting Away :iconlaila12345:Laila12345 0 0
The Deadly Tree
I Arrive At the Tree, Oh what a horrible mistake I made
My path gets dark, I hope this isn't my fate
I look Around; no one is there
All I see is pain, grief, and despair
Deafening screams erupt out of nowhere
Running with no destination in mind,
I forgot what I came here to find
Out of breath, energy, and life
Body filling with bitterness and strife
Clock is ticking, days and weeks passing by
opportunities and chances fading, as feelings and emotions start to die
Time and place no longer relevant, I pass by the same tree
No longer seeing what everyone else claims to see
Hopelessness takes over; there is no escape
personality disappears, as an empty figure takes my shape
A dim light appears, A hand reaches out
shock takes over, I hold the hand with no doubt
It pulls me to the colors, It points me to the right route
Happiness reappears, don't even remember what i was sad about
Walking along my path, I stop once again,
I haven't seen it in ages, but I know that tree from deep within
:iconlaila12345:Laila12345 2 0
Dark Side  by Laila12345 Dark Side :iconlaila12345:Laila12345 1 0 Anorexia by Laila12345 Anorexia :iconlaila12345:Laila12345 2 0 I am..... by Laila12345 I am..... :iconlaila12345:Laila12345 0 3 Words Hurt by Laila12345 Words Hurt :iconlaila12345:Laila12345 0 0 Anorexia Nervosa by Laila12345 Anorexia Nervosa :iconlaila12345:Laila12345 2 0 Depression by Laila12345 Depression :iconlaila12345:Laila12345 0 0 Domination by Laila12345 Domination :iconlaila12345:Laila12345 0 5 Dyslexia by Laila12345 Dyslexia :iconlaila12345:Laila12345 2 0 Mirrors by Laila12345 Mirrors :iconlaila12345:Laila12345 0 3
I gazed at her arm, at the blade's streaks
I could not react, I could not speak
For so long i knew her, i never would've guessed
With all the things she had, i considered her blessed
But i never knew what was going on in her head
I loved her so much, I was shocked
Little did i know she was made fun of, bullied, & mocked
I started seeing things i had never before seen
It was like her perfect life was nothing but a dream
But the dream came to an end
Turns out she didn't have any loved ones, turns out she didn't have any friends
Ignored by everyone, and constantly being called names
For no reason at all she was always ashamed
Fat, weird, nerd, ugly
When she looked in the mirror she only saw what they see
She kept repeating "I wish i was pretty, I wish they liked me."
But no one ever took her seriously
Blonde locks of curls and blue eyes full of bliss
but with their whispers in her head, all she saw was ugliness
I wish she had told me all of this before
I could've stopped her from destroyi
:iconlaila12345:Laila12345 1 1
My Enemy
There was this girl who I hated the most
She would never win , she would only come close
She was humiliated daily by everyone she knows
They called her names and threw her around
But she never fought back , never made a sound  
She ate too much because she didn't feel in control
She was hated by everyone in the whole world
She was teased about her looks , weight & what she wears
At first she didn't really seem to care
But then she started listening and fell into despair
She starved herself, cut her skin and changed what she wore  
But for no reason they seemed to hate her more
no matter what she did Things only  got worse
No matter what they still whispered and cursed
Her dad beat her everyday
She tried to kill herself, to make everything go away
Her mom was always disappointed in her
Always saying she had absolutely no future
Everything they were saying was getting to her head
Soon she started wishing she was dead
She tried to kill herself twice more
They kept cursing h
:iconlaila12345:Laila12345 1 3
Ana, ana, i am not well
Ana , you have put me through hell
Ana , you have promised me what I never received
Ana, All you did was fill me with grief
Ana , where's the beauty that you had forseen
The beauty that is actually inside of me
Ana , I have been alone & depressed for a while
Ana , I have forgotten what it's like to smile
Ana , why am I always fat ?
Ana , never in my life have I felt this bad
Ana , I thought you said no one cared
Ana , I am overcomed with despair
Ana , I thought you told me I was alone
I thought you were helping but what you're doing I can never condone
Ana , I am exhausted all the time
I am angry at everyone , I think I might commit a crime
Ana , with the numbers on the scale , i am never pleased
You have turned this into a disease    
Ana,Ana, I am out of control
Turns out there is only one way I can reach my goal......
:iconlaila12345:Laila12345 1 0
One more step and I'll feel no more pain
One more step will take away the dark and rain
One more step and no one would care
One more step will put me out of despair
One more Step and never again will i get hurt
One more step and I will never return
No more starving, burning, cutting or tears
One more step will take away all my fears
One more step and I'll never know happiness or fair
One last step and I'll never know how much that person cared
:iconlaila12345:Laila12345 0 7
This isn't me
I look at her with hate, and i get overwhelmed with jealously
Beautiful, smart, and popular, what more can she want to be?
She puts on lots of makeup that she hates
She flirts with all the boys and gets all the dates
She always always cheats on tests
She shoplifts lipsticks and masters theft
She puts on a short dress knowing she must
Then she looks at her reflection with disgust
She goes to parties wearing uncomfortable shoes
They hand her cups filled with boos
She smiles and drinks it down
And when they look away, she immediately frowns
I look at her wondering what is wrong
I realize that she was lying all along
She looks down nauseously at the martini
And thinks why am i here? , this isn't me
:iconlaila12345:Laila12345 0 0


-Perfect?- by HennaFaunway -Perfect?- :iconhennafaunway:HennaFaunway 1,582 54 Bulimia by linkitty Bulimia :iconlinkitty:linkitty 60 55
Gluttony grabs me at lightning speed,
I feel at once that I must feed,
Raiding the cupboards I stuff my face,
Stomach filling, self disgrace,
Rush into toilet, lock the door,
Hands and knees now meet cold floor,
Sink tap running to drown out sound,
Will keep my secret, I cant be found,
Head bent over the toilet seat,
Punishment for all I’ve had to eat,
Fingers scrape the back of throat,
Abruptly I begin to choke,
Vomit coursing over tongue,
Gasps for breath as head stays hung,
Flush the toilet, wash evidence away,
Back on the scales to check what I weigh,
Wipe the straying tears from my face,
Then close the bathroom door on my secret disgrace.
:iconred--roses:Red--Roses 195 64
.anorexia. by JadexFace .anorexia. :iconjadexface:JadexFace 1,075 237
Ana's so pretty
Ana's so thin.
Her beauty's a gift
Her beauty's a sin.
Ana doesn't like the truth
Ana doesn't like to gain.
All she feels is hunger
All she feels is pain.
Ana looks at the mirror
Ana looks at the lie.
She wants to be loved,
She wants to die.
Ana's so stupid
Ana's so dumb.
So sorry she's fat
So sorry she's numb.
Ana can't feel to love,
Ana can't feet to hate.
Ana won't make the wrongs right,
Ana won't make it past the gate.
:iconbreakableheart:breakableheart 179 56
Self Harm
When you look into the mirror
See that person staring back
You know that it's not who you were
And slowly start to crack
That person has become you
You can feel it in your veins
The moment overtakes you
And to take away your pain...
You hate the person you've become
But there's nothing left to do
The nightmare's just beginning so
You have to see it through
The pain you're feeling has to end
Everyone around you lied
It consumes your very mortal soul
It burns you deep inside...
So reach for the vodka
Reach for the blade
Knock back yet another shot
Without the lemonade
Apply the pressure, break the skin
You're going round the bend
Feel the blood rush from within
This torture has to end...
You slowly crawl back to your bed
And cover up the stains
Noisy voices in your head
Distract you from the pain
You don't know what's worth living for
Or why you're still alive
You wish the pain would go away
You wish that you would die...
So reach for the vodka
Reach for the blade
Knock back yet another
:iconabsynthe-kisses:absynthe-kisses 559 249
How To Not Be Hated By Society: A Foolproof Guide
1. Don't be anything but white.
    When you're black, people will hate you,
because you look ghetto, and uneducated.
    But when you're white, people will hate you,
because you look racist, and stuck up, and unapproachable.
    And when you're anything in between, people will hate you,
because you're different, but not different enough, and there's no one to stand up for you.
So actually, don't have skin.
2. Let other people decide who you spend the rest of your life with.
    When you're gay, people will hate you,
because it's unnatural. You should have control over your mindset, and so should total strangers.
    When you're transgender, people will hate you,
because you challenge their religion and deities don't make mistakes, so obviously you did.
Do I even have to explain this? It shouldn't be your own decision who you fall in love with.
Your emotional compatibility and well being don't matter at all.
You'd clearly get more sympa
:iconrosescarlet:RoseScarlet 659 658
Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
I refuse to be your china doll.
With your minions wielding microphones
Your gorgeous, dazzling, Barbie'd clones
Your lies, your smiles, your peddled "cure"
Your help, your love, your "Just a little bit more..."
"A little bit farther, and you'll lose who you were.
A little bit better, and you'll be just like her."

Mirror, mirror, at my feet,
Cracked and gone like once-was me,
Stop begging, stop pleading,
Stop lying, stop needing--
Let me go.
And leave.
:iconravenatawritingdesk:Ravenatawritingdesk 749 199
Secret. 13531 by DeviantArtSecret Secret. 13531 :icondeviantartsecret:DeviantArtSecret 284 0 + Pressure + by akirakirai + Pressure + :iconakirakirai:akirakirai 7,703 544 We All Fall Down by AutumnForAlways We All Fall Down :iconautumnforalways:AutumnForAlways 103 38 Mute by DestinyBlue Mute :icondestinyblue:DestinyBlue 7,373 104 Trapped by School by DestinyBlue Trapped by School :icondestinyblue:DestinyBlue 19,625 1,641 Can You See Me? by HalChroma Can You See Me? :iconhalchroma:HalChroma 404 25
Yes, I'm Gay
Yes, I'm  most defiantly gay,
but that doesn't mean I'd throw my Bible away.
Yes, I'm certainly sure I'm a lesbian,
but don't think I’ll ever stop loving Him.
Yes, I'm pretty sure I’m bisexual,
but that doesn't mean I’ll stop praying through Gabriel and Raphael.
Of course I’m a feminist of epic proportions,
but that doesn't mean I'll ever support abortion.
Yeah, I haven't been to church in ages,
but that doesn't mean I’ll never flip  my Bible pages.
Yes, I know my sexuality is a sin,
but that doesn't mean I don't belong to the Kingdom of Heaven.
I'm aware that you may not like my gay lifestyle,
but beneath that, I’m a child of God, and that makes Him smile.  
Of course I'm aware that I'm a colossal slut,
but if you say I’m not God's daughter,you can kiss my butt.
Yeah, I know that I have a terrible drinking problem and I’m stuck on drugs,
but that doesn't mean I'm not God's son.
Yes, I know that I've hurt and nearly killed,
:iconlidsworth:lidsworth 162 174



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Laila12345's Profile Picture
Laila Maged
Artist | Student | Varied
hey , i am a student artist i paint what i feel so people who don't like dark art might not want to see my gallery, i am a recovered anorexic , cutter and i am currently recovering from bulimia and depression , i have BPD, i am bipolar and i am dealing with them without medication, and art helps me get over all that.


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16jasminestreet Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi laila how are you remember me
Laila12345 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2014  Student General Artist
of course , i miss you soo much , how r u? , how's school? 
16jasminestreet Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Not so good
we don't have any vacations and the midterm exams are next week
Laila12345 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2014  Student General Artist
seriously?? , that sucks!!! , you don't even get a Christmas vacation?
(1 Reply)
16jasminestreet Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi laila how are you remember me
16jasminestreet Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi laila how are you remember me
16jasminestreet Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi laila how are you remember me
Therequester23 Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2014  Student Digital Artist
You joined deviantart the same day I did! Awesome!
Laila12345 Featured By Owner Edited Oct 27, 2014  Student General Artist
really? , what a coincidence?
AnaAnonyumous Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy belated birthday! Sorry I missed it.
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